~Hawktail~
Kit
They'll never catch me if I keep running...
Posts: 144
|
Post by ~Hawktail~ on Jul 9, 2009 16:31:43 GMT -5
The smirk fell from Bleak's mouth as fast as a falling rock. "Alone?" He drew back his tail to his side. He looked down at his golden-brown and black paws. "I guess I've always been alone," he mewed in a small voice. "My mother never loved me because of my defectiveness." He turned to look at Sile with his yellow eyes. "She thought of me as a burden. I was different from my litter mates; I never played with them, never showed any emotion to them. I don't know what the emotion 'love' is. I never experienced it, never found it inside me. I know only hate and lust; finding this by killing my litter mates..."His voice trailed off and he looked away from Sile. Something ached in his chest where his heart was. "Ouch! Why does my heart hurt? And my throat is tingling; What's wrong with me?" He asked aloud. He had never felt this! Then, in one huge flash, he realized it. Drawing out a long, slow wail, Bleak backed up; eyes wide but not really looking at anything. "Sorrow! I'm feeling sorrow! I feel sorrow because I killed them, I killed them for no reason; for my own need for blood spill!" His eyes stung and his cheeks became damp. "Oh, Sile, I am alone! All alone!" He shut his eyes as his breathing came in painful gasps and the wetness flowed from his eyes. He couldn't control it; his head lifted and he wailed in grief, the wail being cut off as another gasp escaped him. OOC:: The gasps are sobs, just so you know...
|
|
|
Post by | COMRADE | on Jul 9, 2009 17:17:51 GMT -5
Sile's eyes widened with surprise and she flinched away from him as he spoke about murdering.. Murdering who? His litter mates? His family? She felt horror deep inside of her, but then the tom seemed to feel, feel more than just hate and anger. She felt a deep sympathy for him, and her thoughtfully soothing side came out. "No, you're not alone. I'm here right now, and there are so many other cats out their. You're never alone. If you allow it, there will always be someone beside to help you and guide you when you are lost," she meowed, padding closer. She knew some cats pretended to be in pain for attention, but she could hear, and almost feel the pain coming from the tom in waves.
|
|
~Hawktail~
Kit
They'll never catch me if I keep running...
Posts: 144
|
Post by ~Hawktail~ on Jul 10, 2009 10:53:13 GMT -5
Bleak covered his eyes with his paws in an attempt to stop the flow of water that continuously drained from his eyes. He felt numb and barely heard Sile's words. "Really?" he choked out. "You're not just saying that, right? It wouldn't be the first time someone has lied to me; in that case, to escape. I have been alone for so long, I don't know how to stay near other cats," he added. Sile was a very kind cat. He slowly scooted forward and extended a paw, laying it atop Sile's. "Thank you, Sile. Thanks for being there."
|
|
|
Post by | COMRADE | on Jul 10, 2009 11:33:59 GMT -5
Sile's eyes widened as he put one of his paws on hers... Was that one of the paws he had used to murder those unfortunate cats that had met him while he was a murderer? Every cat can change. She was surprised that they could change so quickly. "Of course I mean it," she meowed. "I don't speak for the pleasure of hearing my own voice," she purred, tail flicking. "I've been alone too. You don't have to know how to be with other cats, you just do what your heart wants," she murmured. "I'd be their for any cat that needed me," she murmured, and her eyes clouded with a distant look. Almost every cat.. If my brother needed me, and my parents, would I ever be able to be their for them? I don't even know if they're alive...
|
|
~Hawktail~
Kit
They'll never catch me if I keep running...
Posts: 144
|
Post by ~Hawktail~ on Jul 12, 2009 19:44:08 GMT -5
Bleak blinked in surprise and drew back his paw. "You don't like it when I touch you." It wasn't a question, but more like a statement. "Not a single cat likes it if I'm even near them," he murmured. Catching the 'just do what your heart wants' part, Bleak nearly flinched. "I'm a cold-blooded killer, if I do what my heart wants, I'll just kill more innocent cats." He recalled how the blood drummed in his ears and how the feel of blood-matted fur beneath his claws was marvelous. If he did what his heart wanted, many cats would perish beneath the slash of his claws.
"Any cat, huh?" Bleak mewed. Sile suddenly looked different, so distant. Bleak guessed that she was recalling some memory. Just as the thought of reaching out and touching her to make it worse, Bleak stopped himself. He would let her go on with her memories. Bleak squinted as he tried to remember some memory that had been good with his mother, but failed.
|
|
|
Post by | COMRADE | on Jul 13, 2009 7:30:35 GMT -5
Sile blinked back into reality; stared at the tom next to her for a heartbeat then blinked and looked at the ground. "It's been awhile since I've been with another cat. I'm not used to the touch," she murmured, closing her eyes and remembering how she and her brother used to play all the time when they were kits. Blinking her eyes opened she looked into his yellow eyes again. "No, you're not a cold-blooded murderer. If you were, you would have killed me already. It's never too late for a change of heart; and yours can be dark or light," she meowed. "It is possible for you to be a good cat. Look at yourself, Bleak. The wrongdoings of your past don't matter as long as you can try to make it right."
|
|
~Hawktail~
Kit
They'll never catch me if I keep running...
Posts: 144
|
Post by ~Hawktail~ on Jul 13, 2009 11:18:47 GMT -5
Bleak looked over at Sile. She was a lovely cat to be around, and she was right. Bleak blinked in surprise as he realized that he hadn't killed her. But then he remembered last night. "I almost killed you last night while you slept. I could feel the rushing of my blood and I was so close to splitting your throat I could almost taste your blood." Bleak looked at Sile while he spoke. He was almost trying to see if she would finally run, as desperate for her life as any other cat.
Run from me! The thought showed in his eyes. Sile was too good a cat for her to fall at the doings of his claws. Finally, he spoke his thoughts. "Run from me, Sile. Run like the others. I know what you think of me; you think of me as a killer. And you're right, I am. I kill for a living; it's all I know." His sentences were short and clipped. His voice was cold and his bright yellow eyes burned with cold fire.
|
|
|
Post by | COMRADE | on Jul 13, 2009 12:21:26 GMT -5
Sile's eyes widened with surprise and her tail tip twitched again while she narrowed her blue-green eyes at him. She had suspected as much... But he couldn't possibly kill, not now. She would have to stop him. Instead of running she raised her head and stared at him, dead calm. "No," she growled. "You're not a killer. It's not your fault that your mother chose to neglect you the way she did. And the only way to prove her wrong is to allow yourself to be happy. You're not happy, you're depressed. Try and feel the feelings that you've not felt before. Try and be happy," she urged, her eyes soft and sad.
|
|
~Hawktail~
Kit
They'll never catch me if I keep running...
Posts: 144
|
Post by ~Hawktail~ on Jul 13, 2009 14:22:11 GMT -5
Bleak blinked slowly. "What have I got that makes me happy?" he asked flatly. It was true that it wasn't his fault his mother hated him, but he didn't think he was depressed. "But I'm not depressed. I have experienced happy before. Plenty, actually. I'm happy when I kill..." his voice trailed off. Sile was looking a bit sad.
"Don't be sad for me, Sile. I just don't think I can feel the happiness you do. You had your family; even though you don't have them now," he added quickly. "I never had them, they never had me. I never had that instinct of a kit to play with shiny things and anything that blows in the wind." Bleak sat up and brought his tail around so it was curled over his paws. He lifted his left paw and placed it over his tail, something he always did when he sat with his tail around him.
|
|
|
Post by | COMRADE | on Jul 13, 2009 15:26:29 GMT -5
Sile tipped her head to one side, holding in a soft sigh. "There is always more than one way to make someone happy," she murmured, and her eyes clouded with another thought which she kept to herself. When the expression cleared she stared at him, with a blank, thoughtful expression. "Not all memories are happy; not all feelings are good. There is no such thing as good or evil; the mind makes it so," she murmured. "You wouldn't have to kill, if you didn't think about it. No matter how old you are, there is always room to behave like a kit," there was a glint of amusement in her eyes as she spoke.
|
|
~Hawktail~
Kit
They'll never catch me if I keep running...
Posts: 144
|
Post by ~Hawktail~ on Jul 13, 2009 15:55:31 GMT -5
Bleak sighed deeply. "Agh, why is it so difficult to speak?" he asked, not asking anyone in particular. He put his right paw up and smacked his forehead, the pressure on his tail making him yelp. His ears flattened in embarrassment. He guessed Sile was right; you didn't have to be a certain age to behave like a kit. He had just messed up like one.
"Remember how you said how you would be there for any cat who needed you? I think I need you around. Will you help teach me the emotions I don't know?" Bleak mewed. He looked at Sile with large pleading eyes; just like puppy-dog eyes but in cat form. Bleak hoped that she wouldn't reject his plea.
|
|
|
Post by | COMRADE | on Jul 13, 2009 18:15:27 GMT -5
Sile blinked in puzzlement and then she nodded. It had taken her a long, long time to get used to being alone after doing everything together with her family for her entire life. She stepped towards him, and her ears twitched at the odd behavior when he tried to slap himself. "Of course I will," she murmured, and gazed with her clear eyes, into his own yellow. "Anything I can do to help another cat," she meowed, and her eyes clouded with a distant expression again. She was a cat that would drift off into opposite worlds while in the middle of a conversation. Almost everything reminded her of something of her past or family, and sometimes it upset her, but at other times she used it to her advantage to protect those around her.
|
|
~Hawktail~
Kit
They'll never catch me if I keep running...
Posts: 144
|
Post by ~Hawktail~ on Jul 14, 2009 10:22:28 GMT -5
Bleak nodded and waited for the clouded look to fade from Sile's eyes before continuing. "Well, seeing as happiness is important, let;s start with that," he meowed. He uncurled his tail from himself and let it sit in the air. "Okay," he mewed. "how do I be 'happy'?"
Looking up at Sile's gaze, Bleak began to think. I sure hope this works.
OOC:: Short, I know...
|
|
|
Post by | COMRADE | on Jul 14, 2009 10:44:17 GMT -5
She thought carefully about the answer for a few moments. She had never really thought about how she was happy. Certain things just happened to make her happy. "What do you find that doesn't make you angry? Do you like hunting? I always loved hunting ever since I was a kit, so I'm happiest when I'm out stretching my legs and running after mice and voles. When you find something that doesn't irritate you, or you find quite... Interesting, then it is something you can be happy with if you tried," she meowed, thinking more about how happy she was in a forest rather than on a moorland. She had always liked hunting, because it was with her family. So being happy on a hunt was a trait she had gained after those many moons.
|
|
~Hawktail~
Kit
They'll never catch me if I keep running...
Posts: 144
|
Post by ~Hawktail~ on Jul 14, 2009 14:47:00 GMT -5
"Hunting?" Bleak asked. That was no different from killing! "Hunting is killing, Sile," he meowed. This was going to take awhile. Bleak sighed. "Alright, something I find peaceful and interesting..." Bleak looked about, hoping that something would give him a sign. Finding nothing, he was thrown back to a memory.
"Come on, Bleaker," his mother meowed his nickname. "Why won't you just act normal and play with your brothers and sisters?" Bleak just looked up from what he was doing, tossing up a bug and catching it, and glared at his mother. "Why would I? " he asked. "All they're doing is chasing each other."
"That's it!" Bleak shouted. "Bugs!"
|
|